(Excerpt from Stephen Curtis Chapman's "DIVE")
My heart is racing and my knees are weak as I walk to the edge
I know there is no turning back Once my feet have left the ledge
And in the rush I hear a voice That’s telling me it’s time
to take the leap of faith So here I go
Chorus
I’m diving in, I’m going deep in over my head, I want to be
caught in the rush, lost in the flow, in over my head, I want to go
the river’s deep, the river’s wide, the river’s water is alive
So sink or swim, I’m diving in
I know there is no turning back Once my feet have left the ledge
And in the rush I hear a voice That’s telling me it’s time
to take the leap of faith So here I go
Chorus
I’m diving in, I’m going deep in over my head, I want to be
caught in the rush, lost in the flow, in over my head, I want to go
the river’s deep, the river’s wide, the river’s water is alive
So sink or swim, I’m diving in
It started when I was about 17 or so. I felt the Lord tugging on my heart. Each time I read in the Bible verses talking about preaching, I felt a prick in my heart. I knew God wanted me to do something ... more than what I was doing. I gradually stated to realize that God was calling me to preach.
I didn't want to do, so I tried to ignore Him. I made excuses that I was misunderstanding what God wanted. I told myself and God that I would do whatever God wanted, I just had to be sure. I don't think there was anything that God could have done, short of fire falling from Heaven, that would be adequate to 'prove' that's what He wanted me to preach.
God cannot be ignored, and you cannot have a close walk with God while being in disobedience. My Christian walk fell apart, and I drifted from God. I even stopped going to church for awhile.
When you backslide, you loose more than time. When I finally accepted God's call, my Christian life was a shadow of what it used to be. I had to get closer to God, and it is so difficult to regain lost ground. It's like climbing up a steep hill that is covered in oil.
The unction to preach was there, but God's anointing wasn't. Before, I would be reading the scriptures, and sermons would just pop out. Now, it was like the power was off.
I tried to act on my calling by talking to my pastor, Ralph Workman. He gave me an opportunities to 'speak' (as he called it), but I could do nothing but teach.
For at least ten years, I've been in a holding pattern of sorts. About two weeks ago, we went to the Kanawaha Valley Camp Meeting, and God touched my heart. It was like a dam broke, and the power of God was unleashed.
All my life, I've been consumed with fear of what other's thought of me. This, I see now, was what God had to eliminate from me to enable me to do the work He called me to. When the dam broke, it washed away the fear.
So here I am on the edge. I know that once I announce my calling, and move forward, there will be no turning back. Everything changes.
As the song says, So sink or swim, I’m diving in!